Wednesday, August 4, 2010

一定会有那么一天,记忆与想念,不会比生命更长

凌晨4点,在豆瓣写完影评看到标题的这句话。有点想哭的共鸣。无论每个人多么努力去爱,去接受,去挽回,去改变,去怀念,去疗伤,总有一天,一切都会过去。你也可以坦然的看待这一切。 期间不管经历了多少时间,拿生命的总长去衡量,总是微不足道的。

Monday, August 2, 2010

周末流水账

很不一样的周末。平日的狐朋狗友都离岛了。K回了connecticut,C飞去了chicago见家人顺便当我们的商业间谍,连比较宅的H先生都跑去cape cod。 趁着空闲,周五见了几个平日里少见的朋友,一个吃饭,一个喝茶,倒也惬意。

周六晚上跟M姐姐和V小姐抱着法式面包提着沙拉杀去了roosevelt island. 明眼人都看得出我是第一次去,从下车的第一分钟就看起来像个乡下人,探头探脑的,到处都看着稀奇。 楼很新,公寓无比大还有羡慕死我的walk-in closet,最喜欢可以看到曼哈顿的大阳台。一个晚上就这样坐在阳台上吃烤肉喝sangria。估计全纽约外加新泽西的德国同胞们都来报到过了。所以谈话也一直在德语和英文之间转换。忍不住,时不时需要开个小玩笑把语言拉回英文。很可爱的一群人,好迁就我和V 小姐。

可能最近时差调的好,刚过12点我就开始打瞌睡。 无奈,向来举止优雅从不失态的G小姐竟然喝醉了,无比可爱的缠着我和M姐姐不让走。 折腾到2点半,终于送下她回到家。

今天比较懒,但还是很孝顺的陪母亲大人去朵颐吃饭去韩国城吃甜点。 知道她很闷,没什么水平相当的朋友,到头来还得找我这个见面就吵的女儿。 想多陪陪她可是内心纠结啊。这个吃法, 估计三天长了5斤肉。 有点自尊心就减肥吧我!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

当地主,还是小打工的?

有点不知道说什么了。最近又开始烦,没选择的时候穷担心,有选择的时候踌躇不定。

先说人,再说事。 上周五在中央公园和G女士淋了个落汤鸡,还要赶回家梳洗再出发,全因之前介绍C和K认识,结果两个美女看对了眼,硬要我这中间人安排大家出来喝酒。结果酒过三巡两个人竟然同时向我发难。唉,好歹我在朋友圈里好脾气怕尴尬也是出名的,唯一的小毛病也就偶尔不接电话,没事放下鸽子。 可是对朋友的包容,我够自信。 当时打打哈哈也就混过去了,可回到家越想越气。当然,因为怕尴尬所以第二天还是假装没事的继续聊天,可心里想好了,很多事,以后不会对这两个家伙说了,没品。

周二的时候跟M小姐去David Burke Townhouse吃饭。完全爱上了这家店。东西好吃,摆盘漂亮,几个服务生更是殷勤的很,更重要的,我们是因餐馆周去的,他们还是一样的在点餐后上了amuse-bouche。有点受宠若惊。 酒足饭饱之后,两人喝茶闲扯的空档,M小姐说远看一个人很眼熟。定睛一看,原来是“黄金男孩”坐在吧台。 简单说这个名字的来历,叫他男孩其实他都快前秃了。所谓“黄金” 也毫无推崇之意,完全跟他拍马屁的功夫成正比。 当然,“黄金老男孩”凭他这点功夫也混到公司副总了,唉,这世道。

了解David Burke Townhouse的人应该都知道,坐在主餐厅,想不贴身经过吧台出门是办不到的。所以我们俩人啜着白茶,耗着时间想对策,最终还是被他看到了。 有点小尴尬的相认之后,我们出门前再次出于礼貌去打个招呼。很没缘由的,“黄金男孩”邀我们坐下喝一杯,很神奇的,M小姐竟然没拒绝。要知道,虽然他们依然是同事关系,M小姐平日里说起他都是翻白眼的,没事还要讥讽一下他努力藏着的南方口音之类有的没的。就这样,从香槟喝到香槟调酒(顺便说,他们家的bellini 很失望),看得出“黄金男孩”今晚心情不错,M一直追问他们几个白天在会议室里讨论什么重大机密,他也都是笑而不答。终于,趁M小姐去洗手间的时候,忍不住对我说,他今天辞职了。我吃了一惊,这家伙可是刚升副总没多久,加上公司上月刚做成了两个大案子,他又是拿佣金拿到手软,辞职???

正要多做祝贺之时,M小姐回来,大家有一搭没一搭的讨论着V的辞职。这时手机进条短信,C小姐正在下城跟V喝酒,就一句话, “走了仨?!?!?!” 嗨,每个人还一副国家机密的样子,我这早就离职的人,在几个小时之内就全知道了。 这个世界哪里还有秘密啊。 到这里,理一下头绪,一天之内,走了一个副总加两个分析员。对这等规模的公司,相当于8级地震。

对我这外人来说,这本都没什么影响。“黄金男孩”见我继续面不改色的喝着香槟,凑上前说,Coco 你知道你到现在都还是老板心中的最爱,我们都还是用你做过的东西来训练新人。假如老板知道你已经回到纽约的话,他会打爆你的电话邀你回来的。薪水嘛,更是三级跳哦。

说来好笑,这件事其实我早有所闻,M 姐姐说过,C 小姐提过,连跟D 吃饭的时候,他都不经意的谈到。当然,黄金男孩因为D的关系,对我的动向,也一直心里有数。 似乎全公司除了两个老板和那些没见过的实习生,我成了大家心照不宣的秘密。

一直没动心的,可现在? 说实话我知道可以很轻松的要到6位数薪金外加佣金,当时要走的时候他们已经开到接近这个数了,今时今日,更是不用说。 可是,值吗? 当我们的价值只能用薪金来衡量时,我真的可以确定我一整年的时间,只值这个数吗?

外加一句,那天晚上“黄金男孩”很有风度的揽掉了整张账单, 我偷瞄一下,我们三个喝掉了一个burberry的手袋。 有种感觉,人要离开了,变的比较坦诚比较绅士了。

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

随便说

  • 晚餐去了Riingo,在Alex Hotel的一楼。 气氛,装潢,服务和菜品都是我爱的。前面的吧台旁边有装饰植物的落地窗和大沙发,很想坐在那里喝上一杯,下次吧。
  • 工作邮箱搞定了。C小姐发来的第二个案子,一看下面联系人,原来是以前打过交道的。这个世界就这么小。
  • I was flipping through old blog articles earlier. There was this short piece I wrote after coming back from the theater. Snow started to fall as I was walking through Time Square. The street was quiet and the weather bitter. All of a sudden it dawned on me how much I will dread this coming winter. Summer, with its sunshine and endless activities, is almost the season of happiness. All you need is a walk in the park, a quick trip to the beach or simply eating some frozen yogurt on a outside bench to feel alive. But winter is quite the opposite. For the past three years, the only thing that held me together through the cold days was the thought of a certain someone across the ocean. The thought alone was enough to make me feel content and strong. But now, what do I have to look forward to?
  • Note to self: come winter, I don't want to feel lonely.

Friday, July 16, 2010

读英文书,写中国字,开始游走在生活的a面,b面和c面之间

时间过的有点快,似乎直接从周一跳到周五。 昨晚去应酬顺便和C庆祝。 谈了这么久的事情终于开动了。记得星期一下午,我还懒懒的躺在沙发上等着L小姐去听歌剧,C发了个案子,我看看还说得过去,就说咱们做吧。下午查了点资料,了解了一下这个行业和两国目前的状态啊,法律啊等等。星期二一早CapitalIQ的单子就搞好了。周三给M 先生打了个电话,咨询一下,看来还是从浙江开始,资源最多,反正本来就是小试牛刀的。 周三晚上,两人澎湃了一个晚上,名字搞定了,网站也是。正式聘请D 小姐做设计。H 先生也来帮忙,tech的事,还得靠他。

反正从昨晚进门签到开始,就算正式把我们推向市场了。可惜,没见到什么太厉害的人,聊了几个律师,其中一个做中国市场,主要是企业上市这块。等一个小时的免费酒水结束了,我们自然找地方去续摊了。

今天起来晚了,本来要翻译点信息也没做。只是接了个面试,下周三。 我承认,打工上瘾。 C小姐和D小姐倒是麻利,一个把我的工作邮箱搞定了,一个发了6个样本给我们,连名片设计都包了。晚上,很神奇的,我和C小姐都没有局,两人在家继续邮件讨论。 6选1,再给点意见,也算圆满。 现在,就看本小姐的功力啦。 周末努力吧!

外带句题外话,晚上跟M姐姐在Smith & Wollensky 吃晚饭,临出门了,一个侍应生绊倒,两瓶可乐掉到地上直接反地心引力向上喷,我就当场狼狈了。 唉,脸皮薄的人,只好默默接过眼神惊恐的前台递来的浴巾,不好意思责备别人,吃个闷亏吧。

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sometimes I wonder if I will become these people that make others question, "what exactly do they do anyway?" So far this week, I had a business lunch at a nice little french restaurant on Monday. We talked about projects, films, life and the little bubble that we live in called new york city. On the same day, there was the concert in the park, a trip to the library and some serious search of the perfect french restaurant to go to with my girl friends.

I thought about Billy, possibly my favorite character from One Fifth Avenue. Will I become him someday? I wouldn't mind having such fine taste in art and all other things glamorous but I certainly wouldn't want to be lonely in the way that he is.

Having a career is important for many reasons other than money. Years ago, one of the few times that my dad accompanied me and my step mother at the time on a shopping trip, I remember he looked at us both and said, you guys will never understand money the way most people do. I think he's right. "Having seen too much" is a curse. I'm almost forced to know better. But that doesn't really stop me from desiring other things in life. I still have problems verbalizing it but it's along the line of career, job, and accomplishment.

So, in the light of been responsible to myself, I made a to-do list for this week. For an unemployed person, I can be surprisingly busy too. Sometimes I wonder why people have such blind faith in me, but other times I take it as it is. Maybe I am every bit as good as they think I am.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

周末在woodburry狂撒钱。Coach门前的队伍是永远不散的。门内的光景更是可怕。Moi主动要求去帮忙排队,然后看着两个中年妇人两眼冒光健步如飞,各自手里5,6个 钱包,腕包,还有两三个提包,挎包。最后,还在L 大人的一再坚持下,收下一个旧版的satchel。很无奈,不爱这个牌子已经很久了,却在半年的时间内连续收了4个包包。

人就是这样,对雪中送炭的人会念念不忘,可是那些锦上添花的人,却很少在心中留下波澜。 也不过就在几年前,Moi疯狂的迷恋coach, 却不好意思在不赚钱的年纪自己买一个来。 记得我央求L 大人送一个腕包作圣诞节的礼物,一个不到100美金的小东西,却被她以可笑的理由回绝了。再往后,Moi 开始做暑期工,兼职,慢慢有了点小收入,却也没有什么购买的冲动了。

然后很莫名的,去年圣诞,收到了一个coach的棕色腕包。打开的那一刻,没有小惊喜,只记得一直在想,“这个深棕色,真的很老气”。

人,会不会在合适的时候做合适的事情,真的好要命。

就像现在,每天就这么凑合着过着,但每天心里都会有一份小感动。那个肯在凌晨接电话听我哭的人; 那个虽然自己正经历分手,却不忘每天打来关心我的人;那个每天想尽办法转移我注意力的人,那个有事没有就跑到我家附近然后假装顺路的人,我想,都可以划到雪中送炭的那一类吧。

Saturday, June 12, 2010

人,遇到真正震惊的事情,那种永远都想不到会发生的事情,原来,第一反应是完完全全的不理解。

那一刻,我的身体僵掉了,心跳突然加快,面对答案,竟不知道那两个字的意义。 不是不敢承受,而是发自内心的陌生。 很悲哀,竟然动用了网络,还是不愿相信看到的答案,直到有一条,是法律的定义,只好被迫相信内心早已猜测/知晓的事实。

Thursday, June 10, 2010

牙痛 2

失眠,牙痛,连牙龈也变得红肿。想起上次买的消炎茶还有剩,便起身去烧水。

茶很苦,咽下去,从喉咙到胸前都充满苦味。我只好捧着巨大的咖啡杯一小口一小口慢慢吞。

这只咖啡杯是上次跟妈妈逛街的时候买的。 我特意挑了红色最大的那只。本命年的人似乎都这么迷信。可惜它没能带来什么运气,该发生的,都发生了。

又开始疯狂的看张小娴。我还是没学会像她书里那些女人一样,忘我的付出。 但是那些心痛的时刻开始变的很真实。想起第一次看三个A Cup的女人时曾经泪流满面。不会了。 真正痛的时候,泪水很微不足道。

牙痛 1

右边那颗伴随我14年的蛀牙终于开始痛了。 不过没有心痛。

爱情,生活,都是两个人的事。不过分手却可以是一个人的事。

每个人都有一个点,可能不是那些激烈的争执或是互相伤害的话语,可是,心冷,真的只需要一个点。

如果说那些自私的想法和行为,那些欺骗的言语暂时忽略不计的话。我最无法接受的,是逻辑和价值观的混乱。 一个拥有无数情人的人,可以在婚姻中理直气壮的如此,从没有愧疚没有歉意。可当他真的爱上一个人,决定离开过往的一切的时候,却开始了无法计量的愧疚。这可能是我听过的最不好听的笑话。当然,没有人有能力去改变他人,我们能做的,只有改变自己。


那些该放下的,该遗忘的,该改变的,都试着去做吧。 哪怕每天只能迈出一小步。

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

On Everything

It is difficult adjusting to a new lifestyle and a new mindset. So far I have found it really helpful to draw myself a bath every night, around the unbearable 1 or 2 am. Brew a huge mug of tea, usually peppermint and chamomile. Music also helps. Last night it was Taiwanese pop and right now it's Bach's Goldberg Variations. The sound is divine, and brings back memories of my childhood, running in a field brushing the watermelon smelling grass with my sleeves.

There was a smile on the child's face.

Where is it now.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I feel empty inside

Sometimes it just goes down to our basic needs. In this case, it's love or the reassurance of love.

Thursday night, two girls, both in their quarter-life crisis, hit town casual style. The food portion was tiny and borderline pretentious, but the atmosphere was just right. We spilled our sorrows over Sangria and lamented our falling relationships. I guess that is the extend of our friendship. We even feel the piercing pain at the same moment.

Friday night, two girls who have known of each other for months finally got to meet. Val was sweet, witty and down to earth. I liked her instantly. So there was, the queen, the princess, Val and diva herself, eating oysters and crab leg with warm butter. Finally, the night ended with shity Pinot Grigio and the princess posing for a picture with her favorite celeb. Did she call him Phil?

You'd think when you fill every gap during the waking hours, there is no time left for self pity. But we all forgot about the dreadful 2 am, where after much tossing and turning, there is still only one thought in my head: where did the love go?

Friday, April 2, 2010

Am I Living Now?

Last April I started this blog. At the time I was tired. Tired of school, the place and the people. In fact, the feeling of dissatisfaction was so strong that I told my own mother it was perfectly ok if she didn't come to my graduation. She didn't. And I couldn't have cared less.

I said I was barely living. So when the whole shenanigan was finally over I dragged my tired self home; spent two weeks in bed thinking I had swine flu (before H1N1 became the proper name); and then went on about life.

It's been a year of baby steps. Still I didn't think I accomplished anything until I started to quantify things in life. Could I have done more? Yes?. Am I happier than a year ago? Absolutely.

I made an list of new year resolution back in January. Probably 50% are no longer relevant. Maybe from now on I should think in terms of "blog years" instead of school year or calendar year. So what would I like to accomplish in the second blog years? How about get a driver's license (yes, this is still on), finish P90X, do the Revlon run on May 1st plus fund raise, make the movie, get on a better schedule and finally, figure out my place in life?

Now these will probably keep me busy.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It's a hard world we live in. You only have ten seconds to make the right impression. I added a few blogs to my daily watch list while enduring another sleepless night. Frugal Fashionista, Liberty London Girl and The Cherry Blossom Girl made the cut. There were probably twenty others who didn't. There's no need to read through a whole page to decide whether you like someone or not. A couple of images, a few line of their writing would do. For me, if they don't offer great fashion news/tips/ideas, they'd better be witty. Yes, I'd follow a blogger religiously if she simply has a sense of humor and whimsical writing style; I actually do.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Life is always about negotiating and making deals with myself. As of right now I'm craving a piece of fresh mango. So here's the deal. If I fix my manicure and do the P90X abs routine in the next hour, the treat is on ;)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Productive Friday Is A Sign For An Even More Productive Saturday

Happy Weekend!

Somehow I think it's a sign from God. I got up quite early today (relatively speaking) for a lunch meeting. Apparently a couple of hours make all the differences. I think God is trying to tell me if I get up earlier, my days will be better spent and much more rewarding because as of right now I'm officially happy and at peace with myself, which is rare, if you know me at all ;)

Now I'm proudly listing out what I have done today: an two hour lunch, some hang out time and apartment hunting with C, a long conversation catching up with R, antique shopping, dinner with dear mother, last work related conversation of the week with my boyfriend and finally a major clean up of my L shape hall way.

For the past months I've been tripping all over the place because the hallway is filled with clothes. It has gotten so bad I started to have trouble opening the door. Finally Moi had enough of walking around risking knee injury at any moment, so I cleaned. That is, patiently separated my laundry shop clothes, dry clean items, clean stuff and ready to give away pieces from three huge piles on the ground (did I mention the process took TWO HOURS!); followed by a little vacuuming, which took place around 12:30 am. Sure my neighbor probably thinks I'm annoying and crazy for doing that but I'm too pleased with myself at the moment to care.

God, if you are reading this blog by any miracle chance, please know that your little point of direction/sign has worked very well today. That's it for now. To be continue.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Come fly away!

A recent read on airplane traveling tips inspired me to think about my own list. After all, my passport is filled with entry and exit stamps and I'm only ten days away from an eighteen hour flight. So here we go:

Must have for hanging on to dear life sake. As soon as I pass security, I go find the biggest bottle of water in the airport and buy Two. Forget about the tiny cups they provide on the airplane. Maybe this option is a bit heavier to carry onto the plane, but when everyone around you is showing signs of dehydration (dry nose, eyes, and everything else), you'll happy that you come prepared.

Must have for looking your best during and after the flight. A ziploc bag containing a super hydrating non oil based moisturizer for the face, another heavier one for the hands, lip balm, tooth brush, toothpaste, compact mirror, mineral highlighting blush/face powder, mascara, spare contact lens, and shine hair spray. I normally re-apply moisturizers and li balm every hour or so during the flight. About an hour before landing, I make a quick run to the washroom to brush my teeth and apply a bit of makeup. Trust me, pinkish cheeks, glowing skin and nicely defined eyes and lashes make all the differences. Shiny and soft hair does not hurt either.

Must have for making the flight more tolerable. A neck pillow, a pashmina (my recent discovery and obsession. Apparently there are a secret society of women who already swear by it during traveling), my own headsets, ear plugs, scented massage balls from t Spheres, interesting book/magazine, and a watch. The list is pretty self-explanatory. I can not emphasize enough on the importance of pashmina. Did you know the blankets on planes are only washed when they actually look dirty? Your own pashmina will look stylish cruising around the airport, add the extra layer for over the top AC and be your blanket when you are ready for some rest time. How perfect is that?

Must have for taking care of your suffering body. Germs make you sick, terrible food and long sitting hours in small space make you bloated, the crying babies nearby make you restless. All these problems can be solved with a tiny bag of medicines. Personally I took with me Airborne, advil PM, Gas-X and sudafed. Not that I recommend drug yourself during long flights. The only thing I swear by is Airborne, which I take twice during the flight. The rest are nice to have on hand just in care I need one of them.

Finally the most important thing of all, traveling outfit and bags. Loose, comfortable V-neck t-shirt (yes I refuse to wear round-neck even when flying), comfortable black yoga pants, fit-flops (my forever addiction), a roomy sweater and of course pashmina. In terms of bags, I currently carry an extra large dark blue bag with brown leather details from H&M. It's roomy enough for all the items mentioned above, plus a computer and anything else I buy at the duty free shops. Plus, the bag can be hand held or carried cross-body style and the soft material ensure it fits comfortably under the chair in front of me. How perfect?

Monday, March 22, 2010

I recently read this in an interview piece, someone said that he does not make plans anymore because everything changes so fast. At the moment, I couldn't agree more.

Still, changing too much at once is a terrifying process, especially for someone who possesses no discipline in life. So I slept, in odd hours and way too much than any functional human being should ever do. I also attempted to look for comfort in food, through seamlessweb most of the times. Sadly everything tastes terrible on this side of town, be it Indian, Chinese, Italian or regular diner breakfast. In the end I'm left with less money in the bank account and a rather irritated stomach.

Then I went to the one thing that always comforted me through the years, not a therapist, just plain reading. Not so lucky this time. It is near impossible to sit and read when I'm contemplating a million things in my head.

So I decided, not having a plan is easier said than done because having a plan provides a sense of comfort (even if it's false).

There are days when I wake up in the middle of the day thinking I won't be able to function until I get a cup of skim latte from Oren's Daily Roast. On other days, I might not get up at all. My back pain is back again. Not from the usual stress factors, it probably came from the thought of not knowing.

One day I read about this scented massage balls from T-spheres and immediately ordered a pair. The smell of mint and grapefruit seriously calm me down. Now I keep them by my bedside and am determined to take them wherever I go.

The other day after dinner with K, I started talking to people about having a dog. Maybe it'll make me a better person? Perhaps it will teach me how to be more selfless?

One Sunday afternoon I finally visited C's apartment on the west side. The view was so shocking that it finally made me decide to move. People laughed when they heard my logic but the hell with them.

By this point if anyone is still reading this, you can see what happen when people have too much free time on their hands. Life becomes an unpredictable play with random discourses and monologues. Nothing has to make sense yet everything makes sense. Some days are super productive but others can be completely bland. As I'm sitting here on the couch typing semi-thoughtfully, I hear the distant traffic and drops of rain. Occasionally someone's rushing foot steps too. There is something extremely fascinating about been awake at odd hours. Maybe I'll light a cigarette and go work on the OM. After all, it is my last tie to the brief former life.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Weather Screams Pink!

I'm surely a woman of my word. Just last week I went on a whole rant about how I need to stop buying random stuff and focus on the core. A couple days later I'm waiting for four orders to arrive at door step. Special circumstances aside, I'm still not keeping promises in general. What happen to eating better, sleep earlier and most importantly waking up earlier?

Inside my head, there is a mini-panic awaiting to happen. The weather already feel spring but my year has barely started?!? Oh the time sure fly by, if you are old enough to tell.








Friday, March 5, 2010

Color Me for Spring?

Sometimes a good night can be as simple as a cup of decaf vanilla tea with dried rose and a delightful conversation. Someone got me thinking tonight, hope I don't lose sleep over it.

In the mean time, we are two weeks away from spring. Yes it's worth all the excitement. I can't wait to put on skirts or dresses without heavy tights ;)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Would You Like to Get Married On A Beach?

By Solve Sundsdo

Project 2010, #1


It's never easy to follow fashion, in a fashionable way nonetheless. As a rather conservative shopper, the moment I finally purchased a pair of over the knee boots, the trend already moved on to ankle booties. And since I don't have all day to browse around Etsy or vintage sources, I have to wait for animal accessories to show up at Forever 21, which, as expected, takes forever!!! The whole thing is a lot like a cat and mice chase. Only, in this case the chaser is defined as a less fashion savvy shopaholics whose closet is overflowing at the moment.

Adding to the irony, the only solution I can think of, involves...shopping. Yes, you heard me right. Going through my closet, I realize how many closet basics that I'm missing, which probably explains why I shop all the time, jump from trend to trend, but yet is still dissatisfied most of the times when walking out the door. Where is the classic trench? Where are some basic ballet flat? And worse of all, do I even own a long sleeve black t-shit?

Before the situation gets too overwhelming, at least there is one thing I can feel very good about, which is the fact I know my style extremely well. Simple, classic, statement accessories, keep it black and avoid brown. Unfortunately I don't always shop accordingly.

Now, in the light of the new year (Chinese one that is), I'm going to do a(another) major closet clean out before the seasonal swap. No more, and I mean NO MORE random purchases until my closet is load up with all the necessary basics! This is going to take a while as we will need to go through four seasons. Wish me luck on this year long project!

Monday, March 1, 2010

SMILE a bit while searching deep into the soul.

STRUGGLE a little but no compromises on the height of the heels.

Occasionally, SWEAR out loud but never let anger and frustration get you down.

Whatever it is,

As long as you don't SETTLE for anything less than what your heart truly desires.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

In the light of spring

According to the Chinese calendar, it's been spring for almost a month now. Though the giant snowman on 74th street makes quite a counter-argument, I'm already planing a closet swap in the next two weeks or so to get myself out of this winter fashion slump.

Some random things I want for the spring (nothing trendy as I find many "must-have" pieces for this spring somewhat offensive).

Cotton-knit collar dress by Lela Rose


Outfit from Eryn Brinie
Need Supply Flower Applique Dress

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sometimes It's Good to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone


But just for one night.......

Happy weekend!
And to the end of a rather short era.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Don't break bad news to people before bedtime ...

Don't make a business decision without your partner either. Not cool.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Think of a happy thought and say good night!

I've been having a hard time sleeping at night. Too many thoughts keeping me awake. Clair de Lune and Picture at an Exhibition are on repeat tonight. In the next life, can I meet a guy who would play Clair de Lune for me? As an anti-romance type, that is the sweetest thing I can think of. Unfortunately not in this life. Picturing my boyfriend's horrified face at such absurd request, Don't worry honey, I can live without it for now :)

The matching poem by Paul Verlaine:

Your soul is a chosen landscape
Where charming masked and costumed figures go
Playing the lute and dancing and almost
Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

All sing in a minor key
Of all-conquering love and careless fortune
They do not seem to believe in their happiness
And their song mingles with the moonlight.

The still moonlight, sad and beautiful,
Which gives the birds to dream in the trees
And makes the fountain sprays sob in ecstasy,
The tall, slender fountain sprays among the marble statues.

Life is, whatever you feel like!

I saw a great play called The Pride tonight. It involves smoking on stage, drinking sparkling wine, a man having an affair with his wife's gay friend, a therapist giving his patient vomit inducing injection after forcing him to look at same sex pornography, two men acting out a passionate and slightly violent sex scene, and one of the two guys' naked butt.

All in all it was entertaining yet thoughtful. My only question is, how did the old lady next to me manged to fall asleep and snore through half the play while all of the above were happening???

To Fashion Week:

If you ever want to look like a horse.....

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's better to paddle your own canoe

Mozart, Mass in C major, k317, Coronation and Edwin Penhorwood, An American Requiem, both memorable but the rest of the program was boring at best. Thank god I had so much on my mind and good company who thought even reading the playbill was more fun than listening to that....Jersey choir boys, go back to where you from pleaaaaaaaaase!

Nothing else is worth documenting, yes my reader(s?), I'm experiencing writer's block.

One last random story before bed: After a big "disagreement", it's nice to send flowers. But if the two people in war, wait, I meant disagreement, are separated by an ocean, some Miyazaki potted plants can bring a smile out too.

From the idiot who sent picture flowers...










Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Theater Buddy

The story is simple. I like the theater. G likes the theater. No one else around us like the theater. With that said when we finally met through a mutual friend, it was an instant click. (sparkly eyes sparkly eyes!)

The first time was charming. She picked The Fantasticks, witty yet heartfelt.

When it was my turn to pick, of course I went for the one play that I have been dying to see, I mean, who would not want to see "an exploration of life in the Jewish artists' ghetto created by the Naziz in the Czech town of Terezin during World War II"??

So we went, to the premier of The Sign of Life. There was me, my red swollen eyes from semi-controllable weeping and my new German friend......

Sunday, February 14, 2010

80后都奔三了

80后都奔三了。 最近听到这句话总是百感交集,有点想哭的悲壮。

没人能懂。 记忆中的一些碎片,曾经的憧憬,以前的未来。 每个时代有每个时代的标志,翻着三毛,听着范晓萱长大的小孩,曾经在课桌下看新概念作文选,为一些只有那个年纪才会心痛的安妮宝贝的文字而心痛。 迷恋过咖啡,甚至迷恋过涅磐这两个字。 有过无数个写不满的笔记本,甚至带锁的那一种。 曾经感叹韩寒,看着他直觉得我们的未来更加光明。 当然,那时我们还年轻,年轻到只会用互联网上九城,聊天,看卫斯理,年轻到90后还不存在。

不知不觉地,一切都变了,不再有时间为生活中的小情节唏嘘感叹,不再把喜欢的东西抄在笔记本上,没有时间去感觉,因为生活要么激情,要么混沌,反正冷漠是必需品。 唯一过去留下的痕迹只有名字,懂的人自然会懂,不懂的更不必解释。

一直是这样,心安理得的接受着变化,却不曾想,这都是长大的标记。 直到听到这句话,原来, 曾经最年轻的一代已经迈向中年了。 该成名的都出名了,该成家的都抱孩子了,大家开始给压岁钱了,开始讨论如何养父母了,韩寒说,“以前的媒体总是批评80后,可现在你听不到这样的声音,因为现在的媒体都是80后了。” 十年一瞬间,我们的社会角色都变了。

说了这么多,还是找不到想哭的原因。 难道是在感叹抓不住的时间吗?省省吧。

一直说现在很好,因为我不是会回头感叹过去美好的人。未来会更好,至少我还很理性的活着。

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

For the longest time, I was fully convinced that nobody actually care to read this blog. My bestfriend found this "girlie stuff" very uninteresting. My boyfriend went as far as blaming the internet block in china. Sometimes ago I watched this Elizabeth Gilbert speech. She talked about the pressure of the creative process, especially after one has achieved somewhat of a success. After securing one nearly regular reader who actually finds this blog funny, I FULLY understand what Elizabeth must be going through now! It is so much pressure to get to the next level. Oh my! What I have to do to get a second reader now?? What if my only irregular reader starts to find this boring?

Ok, maybe I'm over-analyzing the situation and it's definitely absurd comparing what I do here to the work of a professional writer. Still, its MY blog! I shall do whatever pleases me. Until then.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm smoking a cigarette. The last time i felt the need to smoke at home, was when I had to wake up at 5 am to study. The feeling of restlessness is back again, and much worse. Forget about the under eye wrinkle, theater events, restaurant week, or the movie script I was going to edit, I tell myself to calm down and re-prioritize. It is not the end of world, but the sense of urgency surely will get me going.

Thoughts Before Bed

A witty and cheerful play, great company, walking in the snow and catching time square at its quiet hour, it doesn't take more to make me happy.

Wish to wake up to a world covered in white, to a day off work and most sincerely, wish and pray the best for all the ones I care about in life.

For now I'm off to bed, wearing a bunny ring ;)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Happy Saturday


It's hard to get drunk on sangria, especially when half of the time I'm guilt-tripping over the amount of added sugar. This morning I woke up and almost religiously made a glass of honey water. Certain memories are purposely blocked out while other remains. Like the numerous time I woke up to Lisa's worried face. She'd make hot honey water out of her pink mug while mumbling something about how late I got back to the dorm or how concerned she was.....I'd act like a spoiled child and ask for second even third. In the twelve years living with roommates, memories with Lisa were certainly the best ones.

My boyfriend makes the sweetest honey water, literally. But I could never forget that first time, when he sat next to me patiently pouring hot water from one glass to another, over and over again until the water is lukewarm. He still makes it today. It's almost comforting knowing I can always wake up to a glass of honey water. Often too sweet, but no complains.