Monday, August 31, 2009

Can't Sleep....

At 12:10 am, 1 Advil pm soft gel

At 1:25 am, 2 detox food patch that also act like sleep aid

At 2:29 am, awake and blogging

In 51/2 hours, my alarm will sound and coffee maker will start......

By Paolo Roversi

Had dinner with H and his friend today. MJ was stressed out about his investment and asked for my opinion on how to deal with the ups, the downs, and the uncertainties, as if I'd know more than him. I told him I feel sick to my stomach 70% of the times these days because of all the uncertainties in my own life. Will I get that full time offer? Will I get it before daddy cut me off on the rent? Can I even deal with that kind of intense work hours? Will I have enough time to study? As I go through these questions that I ask myself on a daily basis, I realize that in the last two months, I have subconsciously replaced all of my old stress factors with new ones. The old problems are still there waiting for a solution, but they no longer seem urgent.

Was anything ever that urgent? Perhaps, some times in life, people get caught up in the self depicted "worst case scenarios", so they create too many unnecessary stress factors that's nothing but counter-productive. I can't predict what will happen in 3 months, I won't even know for sure whether for not I'll be able to wake up on time come Wednesday morning, so why spend time worry about it?

Just like when daddy tell me to believe in what I'm studying, not fight it, maybe we should all spend a little more time living, not fearing it.

Vogue Australia

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Typical Me

Today, I went to fix my favorite pair of shoes at the moment. It's a pair of black heels that somewhat resembles YSL's cage boots. A more subtle version of course. Going to the repair shop was a bit nerve racking. After all, every girl needs to have that kind of close relationship with her shoe repair man, and this was my first time in the new neighborhood.

Well, it went kind of well....he was old, smiley, and was kind and polite enough to tell me that he has seen shoes in worse state than mine. I liked him right then and there. After we settled the business on my shoes, with the same smiley face, he handed me the bill. There was a slight twitch on my face....keep smiling, I told myself. So I did, while handing him a debit card.

As I walked out the shop, I felt a bit stupid. After all, I forgot this was the UES, even shoe repair men were probably used to fixing Manolos or Chanel. Then I tell myself that it was still my favorite pair, so therefore worth the price. Hey, the gay ballerina at Union Square totally complimented me on it, he even did a little pirouette to emphasize how much he liked it. So what I paid $25 to fix a pair of shoes that cost $15? It could have been worse......

Friday, August 28, 2009

It Feels Like Fall...

New season, new job, and a new chapter of life. Elizabeth Gilbert said that if she'd summarize New York in one word, it would be "achieve". I can only hope that as I rush through life chasing endless goals and desires, I can look back and see some kindness that's left behind. Next week, we will put on our armors, walk onto the street, and get that little bit closer to achieving whatever it is that our hearts desire, but for now: have a great weekend!

Freja Baha Erichsen in Vogue Russia

Monday, August 24, 2009

Lara Stone for Vogue Paris September Issue

It's my personal belief that the excessive sleeping today was caused by a mini coma......Now only if I can find something to justify the excessive eating...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

C'est la vie

Elle US
Life is getting a bit too unpredictable than I'd it to be these days. I'm almost scared to put up a post stating that I'm in a good mood, because who knows, the next day may just be as bad as a thunder storm. And this is exactly what happened in the past few days. The good, the bad, and the curious.

I'm going to start another blog tonight. Mainly to document the next three months in which I'll have absolutely no life. Aside from the minimum 12 hour daily working schedule, I'll attempt to study all six text books and pass the exam by December 5th. Serious motivation is needed to keep myself going, a blog might do ;)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Leah de Wavrin by Camilla Akrans

If you only have one day to live, what would you do? I know the exact two people that I want to spend the day with, but they no longer speak to each other because of me. How ironic.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I didn't get to read the book, but I saw the film this afternoon. It's one of these rare incidents when my heart says yes but my mind says no. Still, it's no use getting all analytical about the film, even my inner foodie won't let me.

Surprisingly, what I like the most about the film is not the shared connection between Julie and Julia, not Paris or the food, but their own love life. In a way, it's almost like that Julia wouldn't be Julia if she wasn't with Paul. And Julie would be just another struggling single gal circa Sex and the City , minus the glamour. As strange as this may sounds, the two characters are richer and more alive because they are rich in love.

He raises his glass, and says, " you are the butter on my toast, breath of my life."

My eyes went wet, as if I have never heard of a sweeter word.

Sunday, August 16, 2009


After watching "Parking", I received this message asking me to apologize for recommending the film. Even though it gathers absolutely the best of mid age Taiwanese actors, the film itself is a bit average. The project is ambitious: attempting to portray a synecdoche of society through Zhang Zhen's brief encounter with several strangers on his way home. The cinematography is great, after all the director has years of experience directing music videos and documentary. Sadly, the story has some fundamental problems, mainly, there's not enough "force" to push the story forward. Many times during the film, the character's action becomes so unexplainable due to this lack of logic. And the seemingly hopeful ending, where Zhang Zhen's character takes revenge on the pimp, in the action sets the prostitute free and then adopts the little girl, is a little disconnected from the rest of the film. We don't know exactly which part of the night leads him to make such a decision. Overall the film has a 7.3 out of 10 on I'll probably give it a 5.5.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Kim Noorda by Vanina Sorrenti
Cati Van Ee for Tru Trussardi, Fall 09 by Milan Vukmirovic

It sucks to get a rejection email on a Friday night. However in this case, it's probably not the worst thing. I'm touched by the consolations, especially from the lady who never agrees on anything with me. Even though I've been acting like a spoiled little princess and refusing to settle for just A job, everyone not only understands but now supports my silly pursue of exactly what I want to do. Just now, I made a little note to be nicer to everyone that loves me. They deserve more tolerance and less bitchiness of course ;)

I'll probably spend the entire weekend study my butt off, still I wish everyone else a joyful weekend.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Regina Spektor's music is perfect for this film. While the humor was enjoyable and somewhat clever, the story, was not.

To the director and the screen writer: next time, if you scratch the bottom of your brain and all you can come up with are a few funny lines and two silly people, That Is OK. Just please do not try so hard or think that you can fool me into thinking that there's something profound about the story. A greeting card is a greeting card, two lost people are two lost people.....just don't drag love into this mess.

Still I'd recommend this to anyone who's not as bitter as me ;)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

By Alexandra Carr

Busy time at the office. Since my boss has an uncanny resemblance of Miranda Presley, I keep saying that I'll only work half day shift but end up staying all day anyway. oh, the burden of trying to be responsible ;) I'm not very articulate today, so just a few things that's on my mind right now:
  • Those people lining up outside churches for a place to sleep make me very sad, unfortunately I pass by at least two churches like that on any given day :(
  • The mail finally arrived, so now I'll have to start the lengthy advertising process for my company, booooo state law!
  • I might have screwed up the most important interview of my life....might....we don't know yet...
  • My hello kitty can't seem to keep her underwear on....I wonder what happen around here when I'm not home....
  • I'm going to stop writing now, my keyboard smells like garlic because I spilled hot pot sauce all over it yesterday....

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Amanda Seyfried by Guy Aroch

I felt my uncertainty in the way I interacted with people last night. Two weeks ago, I'd have no problem describing what I do, but last night, I found myself explaining that I'm in transition to another HF. Even worse, as soon as I finish that, I'd think in my head that maybe I'll get my dream job and forget about everything that I'm saying right now?

When facing such uncertainty, I have to keep telling myself to keep my head down, do my work, and do it well. Everything will work out in the end, even in turbulent times like this......

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Gemming Productions!

It's never official until a mail arrives in the mailbox. Still, as of today, I can find information of my own company on the NYS dept of state division of corporation's website. Still waiting for the paperwork to arrive but I'm officially thrilled!!! Now, shall I go ahead and hire myself an assistant? lol

Tonight was fun, a networking event on the rooftop of Empire Hotel, which consisted of shity wine, average turnout, but great company ;) Thanks to my good friends. Now I'm off to making some food. Everyone have a great weekend!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

That Place Called Dream

Found this set of pictures, in fact there are about 10000. This is the exact little fishing village where my film project will take place next spring. I think I love it already ;)

Every time, just when I think I have hit the absolute rock bottom, something good would happen, and lift me out of it. Like this week, on Tuesday I was sure that I'm too stupid to ever survive in this industry because I cannot do 49 times 49 in two seconds in my head and the fact that I didn't go to Harvard, but today, two phone calls later, I'm almost convinced again that I'm worth something in this field. Still, much persuasion and perfect interview techniques are needed , tomorrow and next Tuesday. At the end of the day, the lesson learned: Never doubt who you are and what you are capable of. Even when nobody believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. Oh the cheesy truth ;)

Monday, August 3, 2009

I passed by Lincoln Center on my way to lunch today. Apparently the film society is showing a collection of Ang Lee's work. From the more well known Brokeback Mountain and Crouching Tiger, to the lesser known Ride with the Devil, and Sense and Sensibility. I always liked Ang Lee's films and his never ending quest of human suppression. Sometimes, it works, sometimes it doesn't. Such theme is not always suitable for different genre of films, but it is indeed an Ang Lee staple.

Forget Blockbusters, Sense and Sensibility is a well made film, but it definitely has more character of Emma Thompson than Ang Lee. Lust, Caution is unfortunately a rather unsuccessful adaptation of the famously complex and well written short story. If I'd recommend one thing from the series, it will probably be Eat Drink Man Woman. Besides Woodstock which I haven't seen, this is by far the best Ang Lee film.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Peanuts is Back!!!

Definition of "peanuts": the usually reliable, unsecured wireless network that I have been having a love and hate relationship with lately mainly due to its week long strike.

About 3 days after I re-ordered a tmc internet service, (its also about the time that I'm getting ready to say goodbye to peanuts, forever,) it magically appears on the lower right corner of my screen with faster than ever service and an almost apologetic attitude .... I'm angry at the strike and all the inconvenience that it caused me, but I still took it back, reluctantly.... which is how I'm able to write this entry at this very moment.

As you probably can sense by now, this is an entry about nothing, (except peanuts) but still, thanks for reading. The number of my almost regular readers is up to 4, so I thank all 4 of you for your kind supports! Great night everyone!
After spending the entire afternoon at Starbucks working on that never ending to-do list of mine, I finally feel satisfied that this has been a semi-relaxing but mostly productive day. Now with my eyes dry, stomach complaining, its rather difficult to write something fun or entertaining. So I give you this:

As we grow older, so many memories are buried under new ones. We become so consumed in our own life and our own experience that sometimes we forget about the people who once mattered so much to us, and all of their stories that once fascinated us. I couldn't help but wonder, how important is our past? If our past makes us who we are today, when we are losing it, are we losing ourselves?

---From my journal folder, July 3rd, 2008