On Everything

It is difficult adjusting to a new lifestyle and a new mindset. So far I have found it really helpful to draw myself a bath every night, around the unbearable 1 or 2 am. Brew a huge mug of tea, usually peppermint and chamomile. Music also helps. Last night it was Taiwanese pop and right now it's Bach's Goldberg Variations. The sound is divine, and brings back memories of my childhood, running in a field brushing the watermelon smelling grass with my sleeves.

There was a smile on the child's face.

Where is it now.

I feel empty inside

Sometimes it just goes down to our basic needs. In this case, it's love or the reassurance of love.

Thursday night, two girls, both in their quarter-life crisis, hit town casual style. The food portion was tiny and borderline pretentious, but the atmosphere was just right. We spilled our sorrows over Sangria and lamented our falling relationships. I guess that is the extend of our friendship. We even feel the piercing pain at the same moment.

Friday night, two girls who have known of each other for months finally got to meet. Val was sweet, witty and down to earth. I liked her instantly. So there was, the queen, the princess, Val and diva herself, eating oysters and crab leg with warm butter. Finally, the night ended with shity Pinot Grigio and the princess posing for a picture with her favorite celeb. Did she call him Phil?

You'd think when you fill every gap during the waking hours, there is no time left for self pity. But we all forgot about the dreadful 2 am, where after much tossing and turning, there is still only one thought in my head: where did the love go?

Am I Living Now?

Last April I started this blog. At the time I was tired. Tired of school, the place and the people. In fact, the feeling of dissatisfaction was so strong that I told my own mother it was perfectly ok if she didn't come to my graduation. She didn't. And I couldn't have cared less.

I said I was barely living. So when the whole shenanigan was finally over I dragged my tired self home; spent two weeks in bed thinking I had swine flu (before H1N1 became the proper name); and then went on about life.

It's been a year of baby steps. Still I didn't think I accomplished anything until I started to quantify things in life. Could I have done more? Yes?. Am I happier than a year ago? Absolutely.

I made an list of new year resolution back in January. Probably 50% are no longer relevant. Maybe from now on I should think in terms of "blog years" instead of school year or calendar year. So what would I like to accomplish in the second blog years? How about get a driver's license (yes, this is still on), finish P90X, do the Revlon run on May 1st plus fund raise, make the movie, get on a better schedule and finally, figure out my place in life?

Now these will probably keep me busy.

It's a hard world we live in. You only have ten seconds to make the right impression. I added a few blogs to my daily watch list while enduring another sleepless night. Frugal Fashionista, Liberty London Girl and The Cherry Blossom Girl made the cut. There were probably twenty others who didn't. There's no need to read through a whole page to decide whether you like someone or not. A couple of images, a few line of their writing would do. For me, if they don't offer great fashion news/tips/ideas, they'd better be witty. Yes, I'd follow a blogger religiously if she simply has a sense of humor and whimsical writing style; I actually do.

Life is always about negotiating and making deals with myself. As of right now I'm craving a piece of fresh mango. So here's the deal. If I fix my manicure and do the P90X abs routine in the next hour, the treat is on ;)

Productive Friday Is A Sign For An Even More Productive Saturday

Happy Weekend!

Somehow I think it's a sign from God. I got up quite early today (relatively speaking) for a lunch meeting. Apparently a couple of hours make all the differences. I think God is trying to tell me if I get up earlier, my days will be better spent and much more rewarding because as of right now I'm officially happy and at peace with myself, which is rare, if you know me at all ;)

Now I'm proudly listing out what I have done today: an two hour lunch, some hang out time and apartment hunting with C, a long conversation catching up with R, antique shopping, dinner with dear mother, last work related conversation of the week with my boyfriend and finally a major clean up of my L shape hall way.

For the past months I've been tripping all over the place because the hallway is filled with clothes. It has gotten so bad I started to have trouble opening the door. Finally Moi had enough of walking around risking knee injury at any moment, so I cleaned. That is, patiently separated my laundry shop clothes, dry clean items, clean stuff and ready to give away pieces from three huge piles on the ground (did I mention the process took TWO HOURS!); followed by a little vacuuming, which took place around 12:30 am. Sure my neighbor probably thinks I'm annoying and crazy for doing that but I'm too pleased with myself at the moment to care.

God, if you are reading this blog by any miracle chance, please know that your little point of direction/sign has worked very well today. That's it for now. To be continue.

Come fly away!

A recent read on airplane traveling tips inspired me to think about my own list. After all, my passport is filled with entry and exit stamps and I'm only ten days away from an eighteen hour flight. So here we go:

Must have for hanging on to dear life sake. As soon as I pass security, I go find the biggest bottle of water in the airport and buy Two. Forget about the tiny cups they provide on the airplane. Maybe this option is a bit heavier to carry onto the plane, but when everyone around you is showing signs of dehydration (dry nose, eyes, and everything else), you'll happy that you come prepared.

Must have for looking your best during and after the flight. A ziploc bag containing a super hydrating non oil based moisturizer for the face, another heavier one for the hands, lip balm, tooth brush, toothpaste, compact mirror, mineral highlighting blush/face powder, mascara, spare contact lens, and shine hair spray. I normally re-apply moisturizers and li balm every hour or so during the flight. About an hour before landing, I make a quick run to the washroom to brush my teeth and apply a bit of makeup. Trust me, pinkish cheeks, glowing skin and nicely defined eyes and lashes make all the differences. Shiny and soft hair does not hurt either.

Must have for making the flight more tolerable. A neck pillow, a pashmina (my recent discovery and obsession. Apparently there are a secret society of women who already swear by it during traveling), my own headsets, ear plugs, scented massage balls from t Spheres, interesting book/magazine, and a watch. The list is pretty self-explanatory. I can not emphasize enough on the importance of pashmina. Did you know the blankets on planes are only washed when they actually look dirty? Your own pashmina will look stylish cruising around the airport, add the extra layer for over the top AC and be your blanket when you are ready for some rest time. How perfect is that?

Must have for taking care of your suffering body. Germs make you sick, terrible food and long sitting hours in small space make you bloated, the crying babies nearby make you restless. All these problems can be solved with a tiny bag of medicines. Personally I took with me Airborne, advil PM, Gas-X and sudafed. Not that I recommend drug yourself during long flights. The only thing I swear by is Airborne, which I take twice during the flight. The rest are nice to have on hand just in care I need one of them.

Finally the most important thing of all, traveling outfit and bags. Loose, comfortable V-neck t-shirt (yes I refuse to wear round-neck even when flying), comfortable black yoga pants, fit-flops (my forever addiction), a roomy sweater and of course pashmina. In terms of bags, I currently carry an extra large dark blue bag with brown leather details from H&M. It's roomy enough for all the items mentioned above, plus a computer and anything else I buy at the duty free shops. Plus, the bag can be hand held or carried cross-body style and the soft material ensure it fits comfortably under the chair in front of me. How perfect?

I recently read this in an interview piece, someone said that he does not make plans anymore because everything changes so fast. At the moment, I couldn't agree more.

Still, changing too much at once is a terrifying process, especially for someone who possesses no discipline in life. So I slept, in odd hours and way too much than any functional human being should ever do. I also attempted to look for comfort in food, through seamlessweb most of the times. Sadly everything tastes terrible on this side of town, be it Indian, Chinese, Italian or regular diner breakfast. In the end I'm left with less money in the bank account and a rather irritated stomach.

Then I went to the one thing that always comforted me through the years, not a therapist, just plain reading. Not so lucky this time. It is near impossible to sit and read when I'm contemplating a million things in my head.

So I decided, not having a plan is easier said than done because having a plan provides a sense of comfort (even if it's false).

There are days when I wake up in the middle of the day thinking I won't be able to function until I get a cup of skim latte from Oren's Daily Roast. On other days, I might not get up at all. My back pain is back again. Not from the usual stress factors, it probably came from the thought of not knowing.

One day I read about this scented massage balls from T-spheres and immediately ordered a pair. The smell of mint and grapefruit seriously calm me down. Now I keep them by my bedside and am determined to take them wherever I go.

The other day after dinner with K, I started talking to people about having a dog. Maybe it'll make me a better person? Perhaps it will teach me how to be more selfless?

One Sunday afternoon I finally visited C's apartment on the west side. The view was so shocking that it finally made me decide to move. People laughed when they heard my logic but the hell with them.

By this point if anyone is still reading this, you can see what happen when people have too much free time on their hands. Life becomes an unpredictable play with random discourses and monologues. Nothing has to make sense yet everything makes sense. Some days are super productive but others can be completely bland. As I'm sitting here on the couch typing semi-thoughtfully, I hear the distant traffic and drops of rain. Occasionally someone's rushing foot steps too. There is something extremely fascinating about been awake at odd hours. Maybe I'll light a cigarette and go work on the OM. After all, it is my last tie to the brief former life.

The Weather Screams Pink!

I'm surely a woman of my word. Just last week I went on a whole rant about how I need to stop buying random stuff and focus on the core. A couple days later I'm waiting for four orders to arrive at door step. Special circumstances aside, I'm still not keeping promises in general. What happen to eating better, sleep earlier and most importantly waking up earlier?

Inside my head, there is a mini-panic awaiting to happen. The weather already feel spring but my year has barely started?!? Oh the time sure fly by, if you are old enough to tell.

Color Me for Spring?

Sometimes a good night can be as simple as a cup of decaf vanilla tea with dried rose and a delightful conversation. Someone got me thinking tonight, hope I don't lose sleep over it.

In the mean time, we are two weeks away from spring. Yes it's worth all the excitement. I can't wait to put on skirts or dresses without heavy tights ;)