I recently read this in an interview piece, someone said that he does not make plans anymore because everything changes so fast. At the moment, I couldn't agree more.

Still, changing too much at once is a terrifying process, especially for someone who possesses no discipline in life. So I slept, in odd hours and way too much than any functional human being should ever do. I also attempted to look for comfort in food, through seamlessweb most of the times. Sadly everything tastes terrible on this side of town, be it Indian, Chinese, Italian or regular diner breakfast. In the end I'm left with less money in the bank account and a rather irritated stomach.

Then I went to the one thing that always comforted me through the years, not a therapist, just plain reading. Not so lucky this time. It is near impossible to sit and read when I'm contemplating a million things in my head.

So I decided, not having a plan is easier said than done because having a plan provides a sense of comfort (even if it's false).

There are days when I wake up in the middle of the day thinking I won't be able to function until I get a cup of skim latte from Oren's Daily Roast. On other days, I might not get up at all. My back pain is back again. Not from the usual stress factors, it probably came from the thought of not knowing.

One day I read about this scented massage balls from T-spheres and immediately ordered a pair. The smell of mint and grapefruit seriously calm me down. Now I keep them by my bedside and am determined to take them wherever I go.

The other day after dinner with K, I started talking to people about having a dog. Maybe it'll make me a better person? Perhaps it will teach me how to be more selfless?

One Sunday afternoon I finally visited C's apartment on the west side. The view was so shocking that it finally made me decide to move. People laughed when they heard my logic but the hell with them.

By this point if anyone is still reading this, you can see what happen when people have too much free time on their hands. Life becomes an unpredictable play with random discourses and monologues. Nothing has to make sense yet everything makes sense. Some days are super productive but others can be completely bland. As I'm sitting here on the couch typing semi-thoughtfully, I hear the distant traffic and drops of rain. Occasionally someone's rushing foot steps too. There is something extremely fascinating about been awake at odd hours. Maybe I'll light a cigarette and go work on the OM. After all, it is my last tie to the brief former life.